"Cocaine+Alcohol+Mary J+Sex=A great song

So here I am at this ultra-extravagant party. The girls are pretty and the guys are even prettier. How the fuck did I end up here? Yeah, I’m skinny with a little booty with 6 inch heels on. But my purse doesn’t cost as much as hers and my makeup doesn’t look like hers. My boyfriend doesn’t look like him neither. Really how the fuck did I end up here?

I don’t speak like them, neither does my stance compare to theirs but I’m here. I’m sporting the wrist band and I don’t even remember placing this vivid bright green thing around my skinny wrist. I’m afraid to take a drink because I’m use to the cheap bitter shit. What they’re drinking on sparkles and it makes them more jovial then I usually get. Look at them’ prancing and dancing. #Weydeydodatat?! I don’t know but I’m bound to find out. I think these people are socialites. No, they can’t be because they aren’t that social. Well atleast not to me because no one has come and said a word to me and my guy. I’m not gonna post up so let me pretend. Let me pretend to actually fit in. The first step to pretending is taking a sip of that joy I see in those big black bottles. Ace of Spades is what they call it…I think. One sip, two sips, three sips, and another. One glass down. Two glasses! Now here comes the joy. Here comes the confidence. Damn I need one of those loosies. I wonder if I ask her for a drag will she insist. If she does then all along she wanted to give it to me.

I ask! She stares for exactly 5 seconds then looks at my wrist. “Take that off” she says. Without thought I start to tug at the darn thing but it seems unbreakable. So she rips it apart with her bare teeth and fingers. Well damn if I were sober that would of been unexpected and surprising but I don’t give a fuck right about now because fitting in feels so good! She looks up, puts the cig in my mouth and says “Follow me”.

“Ok” I say. Forget my boyfriend! He didn’t wanna be here anyway. If he did, we both would have followed her. So I’m following her. To where? I don’t know yet but the feeling is still “I DON’T GIVE A FUCK!” I ask her for her name and she says “Psalms but ppl call me Musiq.” Unique, I guess. Weird at the same time.

So we enter into this huge 4 cornered room. And in each corner stands a woman of model physique. I’m talkin Kate Moss meets Alessandra Ambrosio. They are decorated with gold, platinum, and black body paint…no clothes. And in the middle sits a man. I’ve never seen him before but he looks so familiar. He’s very dark in attributes but still needs a little sun to his skin’s tent. It could be because the room is so dark and gloomy. I can imagine that he never leaves this room.

The room is decorated with Picaso paintings. But it is over exaggerated. I will be comfortable enough to say that the designer was a lil stoned or obsessed but that’s unimportant. Why am I here? All I did was ask for a drag off of Musiq’s or whatever her name is cig and now I’m in a “Eyes Wide Shut” scene. Scared? No! Confused? Pass that!

The guy looks up at me and say “I don’t know! Why are you?” What the fuck is what I’m thinking and then he say’s “No, who the fuck is what you should be asking.” Is this really happening. Is this guy really reading my thoughts right now. “No, I’m answering your questions” he says. Wow! Now I’m scared and freaked out. “Don’t be afraid. You wanted to be here, remember?” he says. “No, I didn’t. She bought me here. I don’t even know where here is” I respond. He goes on to say, “True and false. She did bring you here but you followed Musiq. She didn’t force you. In fact, you approached her. Out of all the girls and guys smokin on their cigs and other funny smelling things, you chose her. Even when she stared u down uncomfortably. You still wanted to smoke from her loosie.”

“Ok! Enough with the head games. This is freaking me out so can I go now” I asked. “Of course. You can go where ever you please but put on this dress and she’ll do your makeup, and she’ll teach you how to prance around freely but she’ll teach you etiquette so that you’ll fit in with ur sisters and brothers out there. Don’t worry this is all good. This is what you dreamed for. This is where you belong. Everything happens for a reason so enjoy this. This is good.”

He gets up out of his seat, walks toward me and say “Now you’re ready my child.” Blesses me with a kiss on the forehead and from that moment on I wasn’t the same. I was just like them.

Thanks Musiq or whatever her name is!

BREAK YOU OFF(female version): Ciara, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj, Dondria
(Male Version): Trey Songz, Pleasure P, Lloyd, Sammie, Chris Brown, R. Kelly

SHE’S DEAD: Britney Spears, Pink, Kelly Clarkson, Madonna, The Veronicas, Rihanna, Lady GaGa, Beyonce

DREAMER: Chris Brown, Justin Beiber, Sean Kingston, Trey Songz, Lloyd, Sammie, Usher

IT’S WORTH IT: Justin Beiber, Sean Kingston

I SPEAK MONEY: Beyonce, Nicki Minaj, Ciara, Rihanna, Trina(lol)

S.P.O.M.P.: Lloyd, Pleasure P, Sammie, Trey Songz

JEALOUS: Rihanna, Beyonce, Usher, Justin Beiber, Chris Brown, Trey Songz, Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, Akon

MONSTER: Rihanna, Ciara, Keyshia Cole, Dondria, Monica…anybody who’s in that ATL movement, JoJo

FLY WITH ME: Jonas Brothers, Justin Beiber

Music’s Takin Ova Me: Christina Aguilera

Ok. I’m here staring at the computer with a weird twisted look. Trying to figure out if this ultra bright thing can pen-point me in the right direction. Meanwhile my phone is buzzin like a bumble-bee. I don’t know why. Too afraid to look at it. It may be someone that I may not wanna speak with so late. Or it may be some email notification. lol I’m feeling pretty important right now. NO! 

I’m also listening to some retro dance pop because this is the direction I’ve decided to go in. I’m a songwriter. This is what I wanna do now. This is how I wanna sound. I can see it so vividly. Can you feel me? Of course not. I’m the only one in the livingroom. Blah! Well I’ve been listening to alot of shit lately. Shit that I don’t usually listen to. I’m not too hip on the indie scene but now that I’m looking around, I hear alot of colors that I like. This isn’t a phase but more of a growth. This is good for the mind, body, and soul. Right?

I haven’t yet found me yet. I’m looking to write a song that is so epic that I can’t stand it. I’m waiting to write a song that is so pathetic that it makes me depressed. I’m looking to fall in love with my own creativity. I’m looking for my arrogant side. I haven’t found it yet. I don’t even know what sex it is. Is it male or female? I don’t know. Do you? Probably not. lol you don’t even know if I’m a male or female. Not your fault though. I tend to wear hats and huge shirts with a feminine personality. I would be confused too if I were you.

Before I get too far into this blog and forget, check this guy’s music out: http://www.myspace.com/fantomfingers. He’s pretty freakin dope. Once the mofo check his mail, he’ll see that I wanna do a lil colaboration. Not because I’m bored but just because. I don’t need a reason mofo. Well i’m outtie like Audi. Type when I wanna type and be when I wanna be. Oh yea, I almost forgot…I’m comin out with a dividetape called “Cocaine+Alcohol+Mary J+Sex=A great song that’ll never be recorded because of Intoxication”. 

Check it out when it comes out! Bye bye 

I PROMISE TO NEVER GLORIFY CELEBRITIES…I MEAN WEALTHY PEOPLE THAT ARE USUALLY ON TV, MAGAZINES, NEWSPAPERS, RADIO, etc.

I’m in love with the song “Somebody Loves You Baby”. Its a constant reminder that despite the hardships and the bad relationships I’ve prevailed through, somebody loves me. No matter where I am in life or no matter what I got and and am going to accomplish, somebody out there actually can see past my flaws and still love me. Now that’s amazing!

When I’m feeling the most troubled and lonely, I crank up this song and listen to Patti’s words. We may not know who that somebody is that loves us but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that there’s someone out there that loves us. If you’ve never heard this song, I beg you to please pull up Youtube and watch it. I guarantee that from that day on, it’ll be in repetition on your MP3 player.

I guess the reason why this song is so special to me is because it grips my heart. Its like a lullaby for someone who longs for that fairytale love story. This song makes you feel like that fairytale is very possible for those 4 minutes and 55 seconds. Well don’t take my word for it. Check it out for yourself and let me know what you think. I’m anxious to hear the responses.

Bye bye for now.